Showing posts with label MTB. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MTB. Show all posts

Wednesday, 20 August 2014

2013 - A short life of Maggot - Afan and Bike Park Wales

Coed-y-Brenin and the group set my mind whirling on the importance of kit.  The speed at which Jim and Milo moved could not be matched on poor Crank and I put this down to suspension (rather than the more likely reason that the two guys were in fact more skilled than me).  Therefore I turned to ebay.
  
A beautiful metallic brown 2007 Enduro was listed for £600 as collection only and was located in Penrith.  I was happy to pay £600, but not much more, knowing that too much spent would cause me to worry about how I rode the thing.  I needed something with durability and with the E150 forks the Enduro ticked all boxes.  My bid went in last minute.  The bike was mine.

This happened in November and I asked Baz if he could collect it for me.  His buddy Stan that had joined us on the Seven Stanes made the collection from Penrith and delivered it to Cockermouth.  At Christmas time Baz transferred it to Mark in Bedfordshire and in January, on a bitterly cold day, I drove to Woburn to collect it from Mark.

There was something very fitting about the bike coming off Mark’s car and touching down on Woburn’s dark peaty earth because it was also the first place I had ever ridden Crank.  On that occasion I had crashed plenty, with the infamous over the handlebar head slam into dirt when learning the power of hydraulic disc brakes.  This time I was not wet (or muddy) behind the ears and looked forward to a fine ride.


The geometry was crazy.  When on the saddle and holding the grips it felt a little like I used to on the Honda Shadow which was part cruiser and part street fighter.  Then I set off behind Mark down our first trail and realised the claim that this was “the only downhill bike that can be ridden uphill” failed to mention that you needed to bust a gut to make this happen.  Man, it was tough going and for a moment I regretted my decision.

That was until I turned it to face downhill and experienced something altogether new.  It was like floating on a cloud, only this cloud was being thrown along by a Hurricane and just wanted to get faster and faster.

It was a good day, with awfully tough climbing, a few wobbles as I tried to adjust to the new geometry and a couple of crashes as a result of almost bald tyres.  Then later the front break failed after having unscrewed itself from the frame and later still the chain developed a need to jump from the front cog.  We called it quits at this point, partly because the Enduro seemed to be coming undone, but also because the snow had started to fall.

Back home I inspected the bike properly.  It needed a lot of help to get back to good health so I replaced the battered triple with Blackspire, replaced the XO cassette like for like, put on Nukeproof flats, Jagwire cables, Lizzard Skin grips, Continental 2.3 vertical Protection tyres, replaced the disc brake pads and bled the system.  I also spoiled it with a gold chain which then coined the name “Maggot”.

I still loved Crank and knew the bike was sound, hence why I chose to attack the South Down’s Way on him rather than on Maggot.  I still believe the entry for South Down’s Way would have ended very differently had I not decided this, but Maggot was slowly earning a place in my heart with a few trips up onto the heath where I had honed my skills on Crank.  Sometimes my son would ride on the crossbar and on others it would be just me and the dog, but nothing too strenuous.  A trip later in the year to Swinley forest to sample the new designated trails that had been put together showed that Maggot really was a capable trail bike and a trip to Chicksands really let it shine, but I knew it needed a real test.

When winter set in I sent out the email inviting the guys to join me in Wales.  The wolf pack were in as soon as it was offered and I also invited along an old pal from my days of living in Manchester.  Matthew was a hard core mountain biker and had recently completed the Great Divide trail so I knew there wouldn’t be anything that could phase him where I had planned for us to go;  Afan Forest and Bike Park Wales.

Friday 15th November

This trip was another of my planned babies and so detailed for the group down to the finest detail.  I had booked us into The Farmhouse which is as it sounds and placed on the edge of a Golf course and a 15 minute drive from Bike Park Wales.  Afan forest was almost an hour away, but with Bike Park Wales being scheduled for the final day of the weekend when we would have limited time it seemed to make sense to put lodgings in that neck of the woods.

My plan started out flawlessly:

·         Up at 6:00 am.
·         Dropped Henry off at nursery at 7:30 am
·         Had an eggnog latte from Starbucks by 8:00 am
·         Car valeted by the local Polish by 8:40 am
·         In Costco to buy consumables by 9:00 am
·         Back home with a car packed and dog walked by 11:30 am

From here it involved me meeting Matthew at the Farmhouse by 2:00pm so we could get our kit over to Bike Park Wales for some sneaky runs, but as I came to the M4 at Reading and saw cars reversing back up the slip road I knew plans were about to fall apart.

Unfortunately I had no alternative route to take and had to crawl down the slip road onto my route.  It was painfully slow and 2:00pm came and went.  I pulled over at a service station to let Matthew know and as ever he was totally chilled.  I didn’t reach the Farmhouse until almost 4:00pm, but there was no way we could let the day be a complete waste.  A quick unloading of the car, transfer of Maggot onto Matthew’s car, change of clothes and we were away.


We pulled into the car park to find it almost empty and no-one on the road to take payment from us so it was a free ride.  We took the road route rather than the “Beast of Burden” to the top and Matthew kindly curbed his pace on his brand new Whyte t1-29 Works which was a true beauty to look at.  My climbing pace was determined by the giant Maggot beneath me, but I assured Matthew that the return to the bottom would be a completely different story in terms of pace.

At the top we surveyed our options and rolled out onto the start of Sixtapod.  This started out in the open on beautiful packed trail and then swooped off into the woods where a series of jumps, rollers and berms caught us by surprise, mainly because it was pitch black beneath the trees.  However, regardless of the danger we let our machines fly and did not pause as we popped out at the end and charged straight into Willy Waver. 


Willy Waver was yet another blue run, but the amount of flow it offered enabled our speed to increase so much that it almost upgraded to a red.  Jumps and berms, with corners that could be tail whipped and jumps that encouraged more and more height.

This popped us out on a sort of road where the uplift station stood empty.  From here we took Norkle which was by far the fastest so far and concluded with a huge berm that spat us out near the car, but also at the mouth of yet another run.  It seemed rude to end it there, so we took what was offered and hurtled down through the series of berms and compressions until we reached the lowest point of the centre and started the short, but steep climb back to the car.

It was getting seriously close to dark now so we headed back to the Farmhouse.  We both cleaned up – the shower room on the ground floor seeming like it belonged in a sports centre due to the size of it – and started drinking.  Not long after the rest arrived, popped their bikes in the garage and started tucking into the pizza and beer I had sourced.  Introductions were smooth, as I knew they would be and so had begun the final adventure of 2013.

Saturday 16th November

We woke up full of beans and Baz got the Costco sausages going in the pan while we dressed for the day ahead.  Fed and full of coffee, we set off on the long drive to Afan with me riding shotgun with Matthew and Paul bringing the rest in his new Q7.  What struck me was the difference between the north and south of Wales.  Our trip to Coed-y-Brenin had been on long winding roads through the national park, but here in the south the roads dropped deep into the earth and then climbed up and up to run along rugged mountainous peaks before falling again to hell.  It was almost as if the south had tried to fit as much land in as the north had, but was given less room in which to place it, creating these enormous folds that gave a little, if not a lot, of warning as to how the day would be at Afan.

The carpark at the trail centre wasn’t entirely deserted, but it certainly wasn’t humming like Coed-y-Brenin had been.  After lifting bikes down from cars and slipping on shoes (I had reverted back to clipless pedals after a few scary moments on the heath riding Maggot too fast and too hard), looking at the sky and adding a layer or too to our bodies, we pedalled up to the bike shop and café to get some advice.

“Riding all day?”  The question from the guy standing there was simple.
“Yes”, we replied.
“W2", he advised with a nod.  “It’s epic.”

Trail: W2
Distance: 30 miles  - 3,199 feet of climbing (and descending!)
Grade: Black

30 miles doesn’t sound much, but off-road and gradient certainly make it feel a lot.  Afan’s W2 trail was structured perfectly as a game of two halves.  For two hours we climbed and climbed and climbed, working our way on a mix of technical forest single track with switchbacks, root and rock  as well as blessed sections of wide fire road.  Now and then a short descent linked parts of the trail, but the sense of climbing was always there.

This split the group of course.  Maggot had not made it any secret that he refused to climb at speed and to make matters even worse he now decided to refuse me the use of any except the middle ring.  Any attempt to change down to use the Granny Ring proper was greeted with a grinding and then a clunk as the chain spat off onto the bottom bracket.  I was overjoyed, of course, but thankfully not climbing alone like I might have been in the past.  Matthew and I had not seen each other for a long time and he thankfully matched me on those slow climbs so that we could natter like old ladies.

Finally reaching the top of the climb we could see that the centre was structured around a valley.  We were now on the ridge and managed to regroup, following an open trail around the valley below, soaking in the breath-taking views.  We passed a wind farm on our left and climbed a little more on rocky, technical tracks past relics of old stone buildings, now abandoned.  Then there was nowhere up left to go…

Descending at Afan on Maggot was like catching the wind beneath wings and soaring towards the sun.  Despite the order of climbing involving me being at the back, when it came to descending I was allowed to push through to near the front.  Baz took the lead and Matthew followed.  I came after on their tail, snapping at Matthew’s back wheel, while Mark, Paul and Dan came behind at a far more sensible speed.

The trails were thin and twisted, rocky, rooty and undulating with peril perched in every inch of it.  On one side if one dared look it was down into the belly of the forest while the other side reared up with biting rocks waiting for you to make the slightest error so it might taste the flesh of your arms and face before spitting you out down the opposing drop.  But there was no error as we flew over boulders, kicking up spray of stones and mud on natural berms and putting way too much trust in our wheels as we passed over rock bridges on ill cambered corners crossing deep drops into ruinous rivers.

My face hurt from smiling.  My eyes watered from the cold air rushing over them while I dared not even blink, but what I remember most of all is the ultimate control and grace that seemed to be gifted to me through this battered old machine beneath me.  Maggot was a coin, with one side as heads on descending, filling me with electric fiz and infectious insanity.  The other side was a dirty, fat arse that represented the climbs.  Despite this, the sides were by no means equal and Afan ensured this with how it was put together.

On the final run of the first half the group split.  We had reached a point where works were just completed on a new descent and the options were to take the old route named “The Darkside” which once served as a climb or to travel up a little further to take on a route full of berms and jumps.  An elderly chap arriving at the same time recommended the Dark Side “if you don’t mind hanging on for dear life” and me and Matthew followed his advice.  Tempted by jumps and brand new berms, the rest of the group moved up a little to the alternative.

The Darkside is unequivocally the most challenging and exciting descent I am yet to experience.  From the moment maggot tasted the slop he accelerated and kept on doing so.  I was leading the way and didn’t want to be holding Matthew up as there would be no chance of passing with the steep drop less than half a foot from the trail so I pushed past what I believed my limit and discovered my limit was still somewhere further out of reach.  Rock and stone littered track bucked the bike as it skipped on the brink of disaster and then one jagged rock reared out at my pedal throwing me off.  How I managed to launch my weight to counter it, to twist the bars back onto my line and lose no speed is still beyond me.  It had all been instinctual and one of those moments that slowed down in the minds’ eye, saturated with colour and emotion to brand a lasting memory into my genetics.



We were down quicker than the rest of the group and I was still chuckling when they arrived.  The old man who had followed us hung around for a chat while we regaled the others of the experience and they confessed that the new route was a touch tame.

From here we rolled to the café that marked the halfway mark, ate a slightly heavy meal washed down with a bottle of stout and came back to the trail to start a brutal climb.  Maggot was indeed back on the side of tails, limping up the highly technical ascent like a wounded bear, pushing through rim deep slop and skittering over large wet slabs that rocked as you passed the middle.  The group waited for me at the top and were waiting a while, but a short ride back around the ridge, past the wind farm again, led us to the final descent of the day.

Tight packed forest again thrilled us and gaps opened between the group as much for safety as it was a symptom of descending prowess.  Then with clear space between me and Matthew and bravery creeping too high I thought to take a natural jump off a slab of rock to add spice to a trail that really had enough flavour already.  I flew from the ridge, releasing the compression perfectly but only realising whilst in flight that the path turned a corner.  Extending my legs and arms I tried to ground Maggot in time to take the turn, but gave it too much beef.  The front fork, all 160mm of it, bottomed out and Maggot went down beneath me, slamming me into the curve between trail and drop.  My knee opened up on the stones and Maggot, still attached to my foot, travelled down the slope taking me with it.

I was lucky to get my claws into a tangle of roots to stop the drop, but I was winded and could feel the heat of my open knee as the blood began to flow beneath my clothing.  I hauled myself up, dragging Maggot on my foot, back to the trail.  Once it was safe I twisted my ankle to snap my foot free of the pedal and dared look at the knee.  It was a proper hole and Mark arrived as I took to my feet.  He asked if I was okay, having heard my cry as I slammed into the ground and with true Elliott bravado I confirmed I was fine and remounted.  Despite knowing I was being untruthful, he allowed me to take the lead and I let Maggot gather speed like before, but confess I was now avoiding jumps instead of seeking them out.

Back at the trail centre we had a quick lunch and then returned to the cars to kit the bikes out with lights.  The plan had always been to ride a trail at night, but the mood for this was low after the exertion of W2.  Regardless, I pushed them into following the plan and we set out on the small blue, fooling around for a while in the pitch black on a mini skills area and then called it a day.

There was talk of finding a pub on the way back, but the one place that seemed like a civilised stop seemed less so once we stepped out of the cars.  Our bikes were all too much of a temptation for idle hands and we could not find a pub that allowed us to keep them in sight.  We therefore ditched the plan and returned to the Farmhouse where we cleaned up and Barry cooked us a splendid Carbonara before we started laying into the beers.

People drifted off to bed at various times and I continued drinking.  After a while I was alone downstairs and started cleaning up the devastation from a Baz Chef session in the kitchen.  Beers slipped down easily and the kitchen again started to shine like new.  By the time I walked up stairs in was 5:00am.  For some strange reason I patted Matthew on the head as I passed him as if he was a pet dog and then climbed into my bed already knowing it was nearly time to get back up again.


Sunday 17th November    

We were up at 8:00am and finished off the Costco supplies.  I had packed my car the night before…  or was it morning… so very little required other than getting dressed.  My efforts in the kitchen were gratefully received, but then Mark clocked the depletion of real ale.  Talk began of me potentially being over the limit still and plans were being made for me to leave the car behind, but I remembered that I had a breathalyser in the door from a previous trip to France.  Cracking open the kit, I took the test and passed – ending any more nonsense talk (although it was touch and go if I would pass and I did so by a very small margin).

Issue put to bed, I handed back the keys and we took the short drive to Bike Park Wales.  This time someone was waiting for our money on entry and already the place was buzzing.  Vans littered the car park, emblazoned with MTB brand names and team logos.

We congregated at the cafe and I said I wanted a cup of coffee before we began, but Mark, Barry, Paul and Dan were concerned about how much time they had and wanted to push on.  This seemed okay as they wanted to climb on the Beast of Burden and because me and Matthew would take the road climb again we were likely to meet and regroup at the bottom of the first run.

The reality is that we didn’t get to ride together.  Me and Matthew got to the top and followed the route down we had enjoyed so much on the Friday when we had first arrived and this took us deep below the car park.  The rest of the group on the other hand had taken two runs down and then returned to the top, putting the two factions at opposite poles from that point onwards.

Me and Matthew took another long ride up and came back down to the very bottom a second time, this time on different blue runs than before -  Melted Welly, Blue Belle and Bush Wacker - and received a call from the others telling us to meet them at the café.



We watched Baz on the sections closer to the café as he nailed a section of berms and rolled over to us with a big smile.  Mark and Dan came a little while after at a more sedate pace and joined us, but Paul was nowhere to be seen.  At last, when we did spot him, he was trickling along a trail and finally joined us, but without a smile.  He was in fact shaking his head, looking down at his bike and claiming it didn’t feel right.  A little inspection revealed that the wheel was not actually attached to the frame and it was a wonder he had made it down at all.

We had lunch together and shared our stories of the trails we had taken down, but my suggestion of us riding together after lunch was quickly shot down.  People needed to get on the road to home and they felt that after lunched seemed a logical time to disband.  I was disappointed, having missed the chance to follow Baz down a run to witness how close a person can push his luck without dying, but knew distances were great and families demanding.

So it was the first two that arrived on that Friday who would be closing the weekend with a final run and the last climb to the top told my body that this really was the last run down.  We set off down melted Welly but switched from the blue to the red once in the woods.  This red was called Vicious Valley and the transformation from well packed and wide trail to tight, twisting and fast natural track took me a little by surprise.  Add to that the unexpected presence of rock step ups and root sprawls and the easy going speed fest of earlier became a game of rapid thought and technical mastery.



Just before entering another red Matthew finally remembered that he had his Go Pro with him!  After all the riding we had done, he remembers now on the last run, so we paused to let him set up and then continued on.  Bonneyville had a very natural feel to it, with loose dirt bomb hole-esque switch backs and long paths littered with humps that became jumps as our speed increased.  Bush Wacker took us back to the cars and we packed them away before having a final coffee and cake to close the day – chuckling at the very short piece of footage captured because the memory card was utterly choked full.


Maggot had truly proved his worth, but as I drove home I began to think of Crank and whether or not the experience would have been any less joyful had I ridden him instead.  This thought continued in my head for some time and after a couple of runs out with Maggot on the heath, a cracking all day visit to Swinley with Matthew when he was down south on meetings with work (a ride hindered a little by me losing my wallet and it then magically appearing in the pocket of my camel pack) and a crash as I attempted to descend a long woodland stairway…  my mind settled on an answer.

I loved Maggot for descending, but the type of riding we did was more than that.  I also remembered harrowing Baz’s wheel on the Seven Stanes, particularly on the Spooky Wood section of Glentress so Crank wasn’t unable to descend at speed.  The difference was in the comfort offered by full suspension.  It was an element of the bike that actually took away the need to be agile and responsive on the pedals because it offered greater forgiveness whereas a wrong move on Crank offered none.  The truth was clear; I wanted to ride a hardtail.

Maggot therefore received a cheap makeover to improve his battered image when posted on Ebay and he sold for £180 more than I had paid for him.  I also sold Crank (which broke my heart) to a young lad just starting out and pooled the money together to buy the new 650 MTB Team hardtail Boardman.  A couple of rides out have given a glimmer of hope for future events, but a real test is yet to be had.


Whether it was the right move or the wrong move really doesn’t matter, as long as we continue to ride. 


Monday, 18 August 2014

2013 - Heart of Darkness (The South Downs Way)

2013 was going to be a full year of cycling and I knew this from the start.  The triumph of Coed-y-Brenin put a firm date down – although location yet to be decided – for another winter MTB excursion, but I also had something big to look forward to before that.  I was working for MITIE and they had taken on the sponsorship of the London Revolution and for some foolish reason I had applied to be a part of it.  I did not even own a road bike at the time of applying, but was working on the principle that my MTB fitness would simply translate.

While I attempted to get a road bike sorted for the 186 mile race I carried on enjoying the dirt, but stepped up the intensity a little by incorporating races in the Gorrick Series, mainly because it was hosted in woodlands close to my home.  The first of these was at a place known as Tunnel Hill and was an eye opener to say the very least. 



This was my idea of training for a road race.  I was surrounded by men on mountain bikes…  wearing lycra.  I thought knobbly wheels came with baggy shorts, but here it was certainly not the case, despite it being a frosted February morning and cold enough to freeze the balls off a penguin. 

We all soon warmed up!  This highly technical course through heath and woodland ended up being a red-line session, almost bursting my lungs with how intense the Master Male class went at it.  I was frustrated that these riders left me for dead on the climbs and then more frustrated to find the same riders blocking my way as they struggled down the descents.  Fortunately the race organisers put a couple of “chicken runs” on some of the hard-core technical sections (punishing the fearful with a slightly longer course) which allowed me to jump big groups until we reached the next climb.

Two weeks later and I was at the start line again for another Master Male session and this time at Crowthorn Woods.  No warmer than last time, but even more technical with a section called Corkscrew which sang to everything I love doing on a mountain bike, however I came away from this feeling my race days were over before they had even begun.  My placement put me as average, slap bang in the middle on both races and yet I knew in my heart I was not an average mountain biker.  The joy of riding was not in pitching myself against other people but more the pitching myself against the terrain.  Speed was a consequence of skill and the races, although peppered with technical sections, were focused on how deep a rider could go into their pain cave rather than how fluid they could look passing over the ground.

The next training session was back with the wolf pack and as the organiser I was getting a little excited.  The South Downs Way is a 100 mile off road route and the first ever bridleway national trail in England.  It runs from Winchester which was once the Capital city of England until the 11th century and from the shadow of Winchester Abbey, flows through the countryside passing hill forts, Chanctonbury Ring and Devils Dyke all the way to the white cliffs of the Seven Sisters and Beachy Head in Eastbourne. 




I had it planned down to the finest detail, with the wind behind us from Winchester completing 55 miles on day one with lodgings booked at Bramber.  Day two would then be shorter and a touch easier to allow us to enjoy an early completion.  The crew would be gathering at my house on the Friday with a short train ride to Winchester the next morning and would leave my house fully fed.

This plan was flawless…  until the national rail decided to screw me over completely and plan closures of the track on our weekend.  Instead we had to shift everything, traveling to London on the Friday and getting a train to the coast for Saturday morning.  The route was now from Eastbourne to Winchester with the wind in our face and starting with a first climb of Beachy Head.

Baz, Mark, Paul and Dan followed me to the start of the route from the train station and we paused briefly at the foot of the green trail sneaking a way up Beachy Head.  We were cold and irritable, looking at the sky growing darker and darker. None of us felt properly rested and the long train ride had done little to amend this.  We also knew that once we started we would be away from civilisation until we reached our end point at Bramber.


That first climb set our legs burning.  The gradient combined with the damp grass beneath robbed us of traction, but we made it up and pushed on over the ridge.  Two more climbs tested us, but also warmed us against the cold wind coming off the sea and we stretched out along an open ridgeline past the chalky seven sisters.  Our moods lifted as we settle back into the group’s signature atmosphere, but then we descended on a flint littered track and suffered the first casualty of the South Down’s Way.

A piece of flint had flown up from Dan’s front wheel and taken out his hanger.  We flipped his bike, feeling the warmth we had generated from our initial 17 miles slip away as the icy fingers of March picked through our layers.  There was no saving the rear derailleur, but we were too remote to do nothing.  Bravely we broke the chain, removed the derailleur and as best we could on a full sus Canyon, set Dan up with a single speed.  However we knew this was going to hurt with the 28 miles of terrain ahead so Mark heroically passed over his Camber and took the Canyon.

We pushed on, stopping again a few miles later to fiddle with the Canyon’s chain which had become too slack for Mark to use.  We were on a windswept ridge again with trees deformed from the constant gusts they had been forced to endure through life and in that short 10 minutes we too began to hunch over.

We made it down to the River Ouse and had to call what was really happening.  If there was no way Mark could carry on with the Canyon then none of us could handle it.  The ride was therefore over for Dan for the day.  Paul jumped on Google with the little reception he had and found that Lewes train station was probably reachable.  We suggested finding a bike shop to fix the hanger, but Canyon parts are not generally stocked by UK bike shops.  Instead Dan set off for Lewes, planning to get the bike back to London where he would collect his car and then drive down to meet us in Bramber.    

And then there were four and we pushed on.  A few more bitter climbs followed by rapid descents ate away at our energy levels so that when we came off the Downs Way onto the road leading to Bramber our group was limping.  The Castle Inn, prominent on the high street, was ridden right past where fatigue played tricks on our minds and we had to double back to go find it again.  I was so tired I could barely recall the name of it, but once checked in, showered and fed normality started to return.



The next morning I felt a little rough, having stayed in the bar when the others had retired and staying true to tradition, drunk a few too many jars than was appropriate.  We had a grand breakfast with Dan now back with us working as support car and started the ride with a little more positivity that we had the day before.

Paul knocked this out of us.  With hindsight we now realise he had already planned to drop out of the game, but that morning we knew nothing of the sort.  He set the pace, being one he knew he could handle for half the day and we blindly followed.  At points, trying to keep up, I imagined my lung was going to pop out of my mouth and hang over my lips like a skinned spaniel’s ear.  Our path was also now vastly different from the day before as we had entered the world of “Clag”.  This thick mix of sodden chalk and clay matted in the wheels until it literally locked out between the forks.  Ridding on the flat or uphill therefore involved pedalling a few strokes, manual the front wheel, slam it down to dislodge the clag and repeat over and over again.  

After one terrifying descent on a surface akin to ice, we came to a road crossing and Paul made his intentions known.  I sat on the ground and used a stick to unearth my wheels from the clag and listened as chat around the support car circled around us all giving up.  I let them talk.  I was in the deepest, darkest place I had ever been and at the heart of it all was a fire.


Mark walked over to where I sat and opened his mouth to speak.  I had been listening.  He was going to tell me we would not make it to Winchester for dark and we had no lights.  He would have said that Dan would drop Paul off at a train station and then collect us from somewhere further alone later.  This would have been the talk had he got a word out but my raised hand silenced him.

“I am going to f*cking Winchester!” I said in a flat, dead and matter of fact tone.


He paused as calculations whirled through his head and I love him because I saw the tick, tick, tick of simply acceptance drop past any potential objection he may have had until his mouth finally formed the simply word “okay.”

And then there were three.

I was in the pain cave when we left Dan and I never surfaced from it.  Mark led us, setting a pace to beat the failing light, but not so fast as to kill us on the trail.  Barry quit, then carried on, quit and then carried on more times than I could count on both hands and we kept on going.  At Petersfield we took water from Dan and bid him farewell.  We were close enough to my house now that my wife could step in as support car if we needed it, but I was still set in reaching Winchester.

Butser Hill came upon us like a sleeping giant and I watched in awe as Mark powered to the top while Baz and I had to even walk in zigzags beside our bikes to conquer the gradient.  From here we were too close to surrender.  Devils Dyke was a cruel climb and after this we descended too far, missing our route mainly from lack of concentration through fatigue, but a few country lanes brought us back to it and then the blessed sight of a sign saying Winchester was but a mile away.


The light had not been lost when we rolled through Winchester looking for the train station and nor had we been defeated.  I admit that the emotion rising up in me at the sight of our end point nearly brought me to tears and I choked on them as I rode beside Mark and Baz to the end.

I called my wife for collection while Mark and Baz purchased train tickets.  I also sourced a can of beer for myself and some for them to enjoy on the train ride home.  We had been through hell and there is no way for me to truly describe the challenge of the South Down’s Way on a wet weekend in March by using words.  It is a triumph and curse that only those completing it will understand and we three wore those scars.  Never had I been so deep into my reserves and as I write this in 2014 can say I have not yet been there again as yet.


Some use the phrase “Baptism of Fire”.  What is this in the face of a “Baptism of Clag”?

Friday, 15 August 2014

2012 -Coed-y-Brenin

Birthdays have gone down the route of Stag dos in as much as they no longer orbit around getting absolutely slamming drunk.  My birthday falls at the end of October which is not really road bike weather, so I decided it was time for us to visit the grandfather of trail centres - Coed-y-Brenin.



For those who don’t know, Coed-y-Brenin in the Snowdonia National Park is the reason why we now have trail centres all over the country and Coed-y-Brenin exists thanks to the tireless work of Dafydd Davies (a cracking Welsh name).  With no budget available for what he believed would be an incredible opportunity, he instead worked to build the trail in his own time, enlisting help from volunteers from youth organisations, local people and also the armed forces.  The result of this was the Tarw trail (Bull in Welsh) and the trigger for funding into other projects that have now enabled mountain bikers to access some of the best riding (and easy access to delicious cake afterwards) across the country.  He truly deserves the MBE his efforts earned him and I know for a first-hand how good this trail centre is!

It was 2012 and with 10 people chomping at the bit for some trail action I booked two log cabins in the Trawsfynydd holiday park close to the trail centre.  To be honest, birthdays for me are still a little bit about drinking so as well as being close to Coed-y-Brenin this place also tempted me by having a boozer at the centre of it.

The crew was for once a combination of two of my social circles.  In one cabin we had the original wolf pack – me, Dan, Mark, Baz and Paul.  In the second cabin were my snowboard buddies, Peter, Jim and Milo as well as some sound buddies of Jim, Dr Wellsy and Mr Cunningham.  Amongst the ten we had some awesome two wheeled talent so I knew it was going to be fast and furious, but I also knew it was going to be side splitting good fun.

The Challenge I set was to conquer The Beast on Saturday  27th October – my actual birthday, but I set out for North Wales with Peter and Paul in my car early on Friday morning.  Traffic treated us well and we found ourselves at the beautiful trail centre hub by early afternoon.  With many of the party not arriving until late we had an opportunity to dial in, but more importantly, it gave Peter a chance to experience a trail centre for the first time.

Of all of us, Peter – aka Crackhead – had the least experience of MTB.  In fact, the only experience he had gained was during the few months running up to the trip I had planned.  I had taken him on the heath a handful of times and coached him on some of the things I wished I had known before starting, such as drops, berms, attack position and hanging off the saddle over the back wheel when it got steep.  These sessions had gone pretty well, albeit sprinkled with a few crashes that had left minor pieces of Peter along my regular circuit, but he really is a tough cookie.  His reaction to a crash is to carry his bike back up to before it happened and come back down to prove to himself he could do it.  For this reason alone I knew there wouldn’t be anything that could phase him here.

Our little trio set off from the car straight into the Blue run, Minotaur.  Starting with swooping berms and rolling paths along the side of the hill, we were quickly seduced into what the weekend was all about.  



Crank felt great beneath me, skipping through the trail surface and leaping up on command when required so that I opened huge gaps between myself and the other two.  Then coming through a tight forested piece of single-track my mind wandered, my right hand slipped off the grip and the front wheel hit a tree.  I flew away from the bike and landed in the dirt on my neck and shoulder, feeling a sudden burst of fire from the base of my skull all the way down to my tail bone.  I lay there motionless as my mind whirled into panic.  I had crashed before, on many occasions, but never had I felt this sensation.  I dreaded the worse; a broken neck.

As the sensation faded I realised I could feel stones digging into my legs, so gingerly began to move.  The more I moved the more confident I felt, until I was at last on my knees and the relief sweeping through me set me off laughing like a loon.  It was at this point that Peter and Paul finally reached me, seeing Crank tangled in the bushes to the side and me laughing on my knees.  I only realised how lucky I had been when turning to retrieve Crank.  Where I had landed in the soft peat there was now a large Tony shaped imprint, but just a foot back from this was a very unsympathetic slab of slate.  Had I been going a touch slower and fallen a touch shorter…

Despite the crash my enthusiasm was not dampened and the three of us, after a coffee and cake, took on the mighty black MBR trail which is a piecing together of other trails to create what is believed to be the best of all.  If nothing else, it was brutal in both technicality and required effort with some of the climbs setting our legs on fire, but my heart swelled to see Peter hitting rock gardens and bomb holes like a long term pro.

We arrived on the campsite close to 5pm and took the keys for the cabins.  The rest of the group, except for Baz who was expected a lot later, arrived and followed me to the pub.  Once Baz arrived it was pitch black on the campsite and I had already put down a few pints.  The groups gelled, excitement levels lifted and we all knew that Saturday was going to rock.

Saturday 27th October – The Beast

We were up early.  Control freak that I am, I had equipped both cabins with breakfast stocks and before coming I had already cooked a batch of chilli for our dinner that night.  Full of coffee and nicotine, I loaded up the car and led the way back to the centre.

Trail name:Beast of Brenin
Centre:Coed Y Brenin
Distance:38.2km
Climbing:1015m
Time:3 – 6hrs

The Beast lived up to its name.  Starting off with a quick descent down rocking slabs of slate, it led us straight into the first climb which instantly divided the group.  It was steep, rocky and tight.  We were all gasping when we finally reached the top to regroup and regardless of bike, all of us expect Mark had suffered.  As with all climbs at trail centres, fortunately a climb is quickly repaid and The Beast had plenty of treasures to offer.

The vast array of surfaces, ranging from root ensnared rollercoasters to rocky, teeth chattering drops into oblivion kept us all in the zone.  Stone fly offs tested us, often pre-warning with a death sign did no more than to encourage us to go faster and harder.  Jim and Milo, slow on the climbs, proved untouchable on the descents and no matter how hard I tried to hold their wheel it was impossible.

We polished off the Adam & Eve rhythm section, whipped the rear wheel through the turns and twists of the Serpent’s tail and for each of these sections suffered a gruelling climb.  The Serpent’s tail took us up into the forest and at points, due to roots and gradient, I found Crank at a standstill.  Cunningham chuckled behind me, waiting for a foot to go down, but I am pleased to say it never did.


Almost halfway around The Beast we climbed on a road to a café.  The time of year made itself known as we sat down on a bench to eat our cake because the wind held a chill that cut straight through our layers.  For this reason more than anything else, we rushed the stop as much as was possible when 10 people ordering coffee and food, although we did have an opportunity to gauge how people were doing.

Dan was finding the technicality of the trails a little daunting, as was Mark, but Mark was loving the climbs.  Paul was loving trying to catch Mark up the climbs whereas Jim and Milo (and me) were loving the descents the climbs rewarded us with.  Wellsy and Cunningham, evenly matched and both very comfortable on their bikes, seemed to take everything in their stride and Peter, the least experienced, was a beaming bundle of smiles that had proved his reserved ran very, very deep.  Baz was the big surprise for me as his legs were not holding out too well (after weddings and life had denied him any training prior to coming) and the Beast was after his soul.

A little longer after any of us really had wanted to wait, we returned to the trail proper.  After much of the same as we had enjoyed before the café we then came to a crossroad in both literal and metaphorical sense.  A short ride down the hill led to the start of the Adam’s Family section which heralded the beginning of the end of the Beast.  Up the hill was a loop that led to the same place, but made up a good 8 of the 38 mile trail and took the riders to the highest point.

With hindsight I have to say that Baz, Milo, Peter and Dan took the better option down the hill as the extra miles proved to be no more than fire-roads.  This meant we completed it quickly and re-joined the rest of the group, but aside from knowing we had completed the full Beast in terms of experience that section was pretty bland.   

The Adams Family certainly made up for it.  The Lurch stone slab corkscrew in wet conditions certainly got the blood pumping and we passed through Uncle Fester like a rotten curry. The Pink Heifer and Big Dug trails linked up to bless us with almost 3 miles of unbroken single track weaving between majestic Douglas Firs that blotted out the sky.   

The final section was a short, sharp climb and then a left hand turn over an incredibly short section called glide.  We all took it, but did not all survive.  Paul was slammed into the ground and carried his bike back to the car afterwards – therefore not defeating the Beast at the final stage.  Those that missed the bland fire roads were also denied the right to claim they had defeated the beast, but those of us who had truly earned it over the rooted web that made up Glide.  The holes between the roots were like chasms waiting to bite a wheel and once over this we flew (because brakes prior to this would have brought about our demise) under a low bridge and out onto the end of the trail.

Chilli that night was well received and we drank like men newly introduced to the wonders of alcohol.  I was also presented with a home cooked birthday cake, maybe slightly against other peoples taste, but an absolute chuckle for me. 


With a brief jaunt to the pub, but quickly realising that most people would prefer to stay in bed, we returned to the huts and the hard core contingent drank me into a new day, with push-up displays from Paul, sharing of Go-Pro footage from Milo and Jim, hand-stand push up demonstrations from me and a long chat with Wellsy about the Christchurch earthquake and randomly how smoking was almost like taking EPO. 

The next day we departed out cabins with sore heads and headed for the centre again.  Cars had been packed as we would be disbanding at midday to our various locations all over the country – Nottingham, Bristol, Cumbria, Godalming, Farnham, Bedford and Northants.  The rain also decided to make a show, but we still managed to fit in another run of the Minotaur and the Red Coche.

Peter was full of beans and even went off for a second run of the Minotaur while some of us abandoned ridding in preference for showers in the centre followed by coffee, although Baz had attempted to lure me down Glide for a final time before this decision was made.  Had it not been hammering it down I might even had said yes…


Wednesday, 2 July 2014

2012 - Seven Stanes

When I said that cycling entering our lives would change everything I was not kidding and 2012 was a stark example of this change.  This year marked Baz's stag do and the event was to be all about the trail.  My stag do in those early years involved a trip to Budapest, 196 units of alcohol tipped into my body, shooting handguns, shotguns and AK47's in an old KGB bunker and my overall punishment for being me.  I am not inflating the truth when I say that the Wolf Pack damaged me that weekend.  I remember hiding in the basement of Starbucks on New Bridge Street on my first day back to work, wondering why my eyelids had swollen up and wishing the ground would swallow me.

For Baz, with cycling now dominating our social lives, we chose to embark upon the Scottish adventure of The Seven Stanes; seven red runs at different trail centres each marked with a stone structure carved by a Scottish artist.  The tourism plot is for people to visit the various trail centres until finally able to say they have completed the Seven Stanes.  For us we were short of time, so became the first group ever to complete the Seven Stanes in just 3.5 consecutive days.  If not for the driving between centres it would have been even quicker, but do not be fooled; this was far from easy and although not a liver bashing session (for most of those present excluding myself), our bodies seriously suffered!

Wednesday 11th April 2012

I was on Paternity leave when this came around, having taken over from my wife for months 10, 11 and 12.  I was close to the end of my time as "stay at home dad" so was in dire need of a break.  One huge difference having a child had introduced to my life was the need for a car licence rather than just a motorbike licence, so rather than being stuck in the back of a car I was able to drive myself up to Carlisle.  The Travelodge on the M6 was our starting area for the first trail centre the next day and it was dark when I came off the motorway to follow a strange loop to the other side of the motorway where our digs where.

Mark and Dan had travelled up together and collected Paul from Carlisle train station  on route so our group was mostly complete.  We would be adding Baz and two of his local boys at the first trail centre the next morning.  The excitement as we came together in the deserted car park was almost palpable and I suspect a little of this was due to fear induced by the Aston Hill fiasco.  A quick look at our surroundings suggested a need to take our bikes to bed with us if we wanted to ride the next day, so they came off the roof and we walked to the entrance of the lodge.

An odd chap let us in.  I couldn't work out if he was drunk, tired or stoned.  Either way, he wasn't quite in the same world as us so we untangled ourselves from his attempt to socialise while he put our bikes in a room of their own and drifted off down the hall to the rooms.  I admit, from first impressions of our host I wondered if our bikes would still be there when we woke up and considered whether the Thule rack on the car might have been more secure after all.

The hallway was like time travelling, carrying us back to the seventies.  The rooms were seemingly refurbished at the same time but it was a bed, I had real ale in good supply and we all knew we had slept in worse places.  I was sharing a room with Dan while Mark and Paul took a room down the hall.  I cracked open the real ales as quickly as I could and spent a little time with Dan exploring our new kit.  The days of having cargo shorts and t-shirt were long behind us now.  This was now the age of compression tops, MTB specific shorts and clip in shoes.  After the rummage we joined the others in their room, drank a little more (Mark had opened a bottle of scotch like all good Scotsman should) and called it a night a little later than was appropriate, all feeling a little nervous and excited for what was about to come.

Thursday 12th April 2012

Against all odds, the bikes had not disappeared during the night, so we had a quick and dirty breakfast in the services beside the hotel and then returned to the cars feeling utterly unsatisfied.  I took Paul and his kit in with me for our drive to Mabie and I let Dan and Mark lead the way.  Even though we were at the top of the M6, the drive was still close to an hour, but tearing  along twisting roads between majestic forest was far from a chore.

Mabie; The Ghost Stane

We reached Mabie and parked up, to find this centre a  little less commercial than Winlatter, with no café, bike shop or tourist centre.  Baz was already there with his chauffeur for the weekend, having travelled in a burgundy Citroen Picasso.  As usual his bike was upside down behind the car while he fiddled with parts of it.  His buddy, named here in as Jock to save confusion, was a large bloke with a good laugh and quick smile.  He also wore a bandanna, which was something I had forgotten existed up until then.  The last rider, here in named as Stan, arrived while the rest of us threw an Aerobie around the car park, having already removed our rides from the car and were still waiting for Baz to complete his faffs.  Stan was a quiet sort and a little dark and brooding in nature.  He had a matter-of-fact air about him of just getting on with things and I realised, considering the rest of the group, this was rather desperately needed.

At last Baz decided his fiddling was complete and flipped his bike over, only for the rest of us to put him right.  The tinkering was indeed far from over because we proceeded to add to his bike a set of spokey-dockey for his wheels, a white handlebar basket with pink trim and flowers, a splendid Paisley shirt to wear, Chop suey backpack to carry and handlebar tassels.  All of this was much to Baz's disdain, but he accepted his lot.  With the group complete and Stag dressed to impress, we set out for our first Stane. 



Phoenix Trail
Distance: 19Km
Singletrack: 80%

The Mabie Phoenix Trail was a mixed cross-country route in stunning woodland, with natural trails a world apart from our fear of it being another Aston Hill.  From the car park we cruised into a woodland and started a very steep climb that switched back and forth so we could see each other as we spread out, regardless of the distance.  This seemed to go on for quite some time and in places really ramped up in steepness.  However the view from the summit paid for all the effort.  We were now working our way carefully along the ridge, with a drop to our left that would break man and bike alike if disaster befell one of us.  Mark, who was not great at heights, was probably wishing he was back at Aston after all,  but the death ridge soon ended and we enjoyed a quick, switching descent back to earth.

Having taken the lead with Baz and Paul, jumping and pumping the trail for speed, we came to a halt and let others catch up.  The last to descend was Stan and we watched intently because he had a style that was the antithesis of our careless disregard for self-preservation.  He was poised and controlled, almost dancing to his own tune all the way to where we waited.  When he did join us I thought he might even have smiled.  Had it been me commanding a bike in such a fashion I would have been grinning from ear to ear with self-worship.

The highlight of the centre for me was the Descender Bender.  This was a willy fizzing high speed roll through a series of interconnected berms that had to each be more than 25ft tall.  We rode them fast and high, getting spat out from one directly into the next and hanging on for dear life as one particular berm exited onto an unexpected table top jump.  Onwards and down we flowed, screaming with near ecstasy and not a single one of us will forget it.  Nor will we forget the talk we had with a guy at the end of the trail who explained how a man had recently broken his back on that surprise table top by hitting the tree beside it.  I personally couldn't remember the tree; only the sheer horror blended with elation from having transitioned from a berm into mid-air rather than into another berm as was expected.     


A final sharp climb known as The Scorpion for the sting in its tail put us into less manicured trail through lovely forest, much like we had experienced at the start.  In the Misty Glade we had a few photos with the "Ghost Stane" and pressed on knowing we had another trail yet to conquer that day, but the back end of Mabie was as sweet as the first half with water to blast through and sweet trail to churn, interspersed with the odd piece of north shore and rocky chutes that were either taken at overly enthusiastic speed so as to clear the double drop in one (my method) or to get off and step down (the sensible choice taken by others).  My method was not in fact a demonstration of skill, but more an example of failure to look ahead.    


Ae: The Talking Head Stane

With one Stane down, we quickly re-packed the cars and took the 30 minute drive to Ae.  I was following Dan again, although not on his race lines that seemed to take up most of the deserted roads.  Nor did I choose to get air over the cattle grids which I would not have thought possible for a Mercedes loaded with bikes unless I had seen it with my own eyes.

Ae as a centre was a little more civilised, with a café and bike shop, so we stepped into the café and had a quick calorie top up before heading out to the red trail.

Ae Line Trail Stats
Distance: 24Km
Singletrack: 65%


Ae started with a climb on switchbacks much like Mabie up into the forest and this was quickly paid for with a series of jumps on the way back down.  Despite the trail centre already in our legs we were motoring along, buoyed by the increasing flow we were achieving from being longer in the saddle.  Undulating single track led us around the flanks of Green Hill, but then broke into the open and onto a steep turning climb, again greeted afterwards by more jumpy descents.  The flavour of Ae was much like this, with short, sharp and steep climbs met very quickly by swooping descents peppered with jumps and table tops. 

Granny Green Love came at us next which was a lift in technical demand, with a loose surface and much more rock, while the more manufactured features were replaced with natural ones offering the brave a chance for more air.  The manicured section soon returned though, with table tops back to back that increased in size to either take advantage of growing confidence, or to teach a rider the folly of arrogance.

Ae also had a series of berms, but nothing was going to come close to Descender Bender.  These appeared just before crossing the river on a narrow bridge.

The pace dropped for us all as we fought our way up the climb after the river and I took the chance to chat with Jock a little more, liking his loud and brash nature, but the breath even for talking was snatched away in the final stages of the climb which not only increased in gradient, but also in technicality with scattering stones beneath our wheels.

I admit that climbing was not and is still not a great skill of mine.  The training I had done focused more on putting down power in short bursts.  The long climbs simply drained me and at one point, on a bend turning up alongside the forest I was incredibly unfair to Mark and Paul as they powered past, snapping at them for being good climbers.  It was completely irrational and unfair, but in the midst of suffering we often drop the ball.  Admittedly, they were climbing so fast they had no time to respond, but it was a chat we had to have later.

Once the climbing was over we found ourselves at the Heart Stane sat with a background of forest and sky.  I had almost forgotten that we were also seeking out the Stanes, but seeing it and knowing photos would require us to leave the saddle for a while was a blessing.


The section of trail we had all been waiting for was at the end and known as the Omega Man.  When I saw the signpost indicating a descent my heart skipped and new energy rushed in to my legs.  It was slightly galling to roll downhill about fifty metres only to then find myself climbing again, but this was a brief blip in the section and soon opened up into a hair tingling race over singles, doubles, drops and table tops right back to where we had begun.

I was ruined though and not the only one.  When we were back at the cars I suggested the pub as a means to close the day and all agreed.  Meanwhile, feeling the strain of the trail as much as me, Dan whipped out his phone and arranged for Mark to be put on his insurance to share in some of the driving and although I needn’t follow in admin terms, I saw the idea of sharing the driving as a great excuse to really go at the beer in the pub.  There are some benefits to having the non-drinker Paul with me in the car and this was certainly one of them.


Our digs for the night was a Mongolian Yurt at the Galloway Activity Centre sat on the banks of Loch Ken.  We decamped from the cars and instantly littered the place with our junk, claiming beds and then focusing on the footage I had managed to capture on my headcam.  The footage was absolute rubbish and made us feel sick with how it juddered and spluttered, but fortunately our memories were clear and while we relived what had only happened that day the drinks stores depleted.

Friday 13th April 2012

We woke up frozen to the bone, if we had slept at all.  The log burner in the centre of the Yurt had held the chill away for a while, but without being tended had quickly died out so we all felt rough.  We quickly dressed for the day and made our way over to the café for breakfast, only to be plagued by two opportunistic little Jack Russells while we attempted to chow down on one of the worse breakfasts I have ever experienced.  Eating the bread was like biting into a wad of toilet tissues and the internal structure of the sausage was akin to playdo that had been left in the air for slightly too long.

I resorted to the staple of coffee and smokes, standing on a jetty beside the lake and admiring a beautiful tepee that was an option aside from the Yurt we had taken.  When the group had suffered enough for calories we filled the cars with bodies and drove for an hour to Glentrool.

Glentrool: The Giant Axe Head

We parked up, set up and set off for the trail board only to discover that the Stane was not on the red trail in this instance.  Instead it sat halfway round an excessively long cross country purple trail which would offer very little in the way of challenge, but would seriously affect our ability to drive to and complete the next centre.

We decided to take the blue route, forsaking the photo with the Stane and instead improvised with Baz on a nearby rock.


The Green Torr Stats
Distance: 9Km
Singletrack: 65%

The trail was simple in design and a joy to ride despite being only a blue grade.  It began with a climb that continued all the way to the highest point, moving through forest to start with until it opened up to awesome views.  After this it was all downhill back to the start, on wide, manicured single track with berms, but very few real air opportunities.  We found one section that was dripping with flow as it swooped down into the forest, ending on a beautiful berm before kicking out on a fire road.  Knowing we had a time window die to the shorter and easier blue, we pootled back up to do it again, but this time leaving a few elephants between us to save Mark from shouting at whomever was squealing on the brakes behind his back wheel.

The final descent was sweet and steep for a blue and kicked us out at the visitor centre where we had begun, giving us all good smiles and a fire in our belly for the next centre.

Kirroughtree: The Gem Stane

It was a 25 minute drive trail to Kirroughtree trail and on beautiful twisting roads.  The centre also had a nice café which allowed a coffee top up and a dripping cheese toastie just for good measure.  The painful start to the day had somehow been eradicated by the almost effortless and utterly enjoyable blue run, so we were full of beans starting Kirroughtree.

The Twister Stats
Distance: 17Km
Singletrack: 80%

The Twister trail was a wonderful mix of technical rock sections and flowing forest.  The flow was delightful, with the red trail often sharing a route with the blue, but then pairing away for the red to tackle the gnarly sections before coming back to the blue for snappy climbs.  This was a trail of gliding rather than flying and seemed well in our abilities, boasting our confidence even further.

We tore along at pace into a section called White Witch and whooped as we left the granite boulder behind; a feature that not long ago would have had most of us walking.  The single track from here grew narrower and I had Paul harrowing my back wheel, so the power went down even more.  On and on we raced, skipping through leafy woodland, flying over the roots of a grand old oak beside a lake, over a bridge and off down more dark single track.

We stopped at a natural end of the Rivendell section and waited for the others.  A few more groups passed through and we started to wonder if we had gone the wrong way, but without phone reception we couldn’t contact them.  Then yet another group came through and stopped beside us.

“Are you with a bigger party?” they asked.  “They are waiting for you at the Stane.”

Paul and I had been so intend on the trail we had failed to see the Gem Stone beside the lake and had to trek back up the wrong way on a section that was very fast for those coming down it.  It was slow progress and more than a little hair raising, but we made it in one piece and were at least included in the pictures after suffering a justified wind up from the others.




At least Paul and I got to ride the awesome section again and the trail ended with a giddy section known as Jabberwocky, filled with turns and rocks, rock slab climbs and descents, step-downs, step-ups and bomb holes pre-warned with a death sign, adding to the fun of it.  All in, the trail centre had earned the title of “best so far” in my heart and I barely registered the 45 minute drive back to the yurt as me and Paul relived the trail in words. 

Saturday 14th April 2012

I didn’t wake up cold because I had not been to sleep.  On our way back the day before we had stocked up on more real ale from a super market and I had plopped myself down near the burner to both drink and stoke the fire.  The whole group woke up grateful, but I was soon to realise the error of my ways when even a long soak in the shower block, poor coffee and smokes failed to clear the fog from my head.

Dalbeattie: The Heart Cleft Stane

We packed the cars fully as our last night in the Yurt was over.  We had a 50 minute drive to Dalbeattie, had Newcastleton to polish off after that and then were staying at a guest house in Innerliethan.

Hardrock Trail Stats
Distance: 25Km
Singletrack: 65% (black-graded sections are 100% singletrack)


For a foggy brain, Dalbeattie was a brutal place.  The trail started in a car park with no facilities that led us out to long stretches of north shore over bogs and beds of reeds, always ending with a drop onto rock or loose shale.  Then the hard granite surface of the trails beyond this encouraged too much speed for the features all too quickly arriving from ahead.  Paul and I tore off again, tearing along a slim, loose surfaced trail with a rock face to our left and a severe drop to our right.  Our hardtails skipped over the features and skidded through the loose stones until we were both overwhelmed with excitement.  Then out of nowhere a tree stump, cut down to just above pedal height, reared up in the trail.  The metallic smack of my pedal catching it, adding to the scars in the wood present from other mishaps in the past, was nothing compared to the crunch of me hitting the unyielding ground.

Paul helped me up from the ledge and the others soon joined us to see the scratches and beads of blood forming on my legs.  I had survived physically, but mentally I had been crippled and that tone remained for the rest of the trail. Faced with step ups and step downs over smooth, damp granite ate away at my resolve to continue and put fear in my heart of another disaster.

Dalbeattie was also peppered with black features.  The first we attempted was a mini slab, all knowing in the back of our minds that the real slab awaited us further alone.  Only me and Baz attempted this and both succeeded, giving back a little confidence.  Then there was a run off, which was simply a short vertical drop down a smooth piece of granite.  Again, me and Baz took it on and survived.  This however did nothing to prepare me for the real slab when it finally filled our path.



Still affected by my crash, sleepless night and boozy habit, I simply accepted defeat and instantly put my bike to my shoulder and walked down before anyone had even started to ponder the “should I or not” question.  This was the one feature I had been most driven to conquer prior to the trip, but right there and then I saw it as the potential end of my trip, so as much as I was disappointed in myself, I was also pleased at having for once shown a modicum of sense.

Baz was the only one to ride the slab in the end and at last we had some good footage because I used a Flip camera instead of headcam.  It was a true sight, seeing his tassels flap out behind him as he coursed arrow straight down 15-metre section of sheer granite.  He reached the bottom and stepped off the bike, letting it fall as he dropped to his knees and roared for the Gods to hear that Man has prevailed!



We collected the picture at the Stane and with the Slab behind us my flow started to return and the back end was more like the riding I had enjoyed the previous day.  There was an unusual amount of closed sections, forcing us onto fireroads which sometimes proved the reward for a prior bitter climb, making the climb all the more bitter, but when there was single track open the trail still threw rock and root at us in ample measure. At the very end I landed on the top of my head trying to follow Baz over a skinny plank between two boulders, but we made it to the end alive.

Strangely, despite it having been me (and a little bit Baz) who had shed the blood on the trail, Dalbeattie actually took Stan out of our group.  His knee gave way after the pummelling and he decided to call it a day, leaving us after a bottle of Punk IPA from out of Jock's car boot.

Newcastleton: The Border Stane

It really was the driving that was making the challenge tough and the 1.5 hour drive to Newcasleton after the brutality of Dalbeattie was enough to take the fizz out of any mans’ tail, but I had bottled it at the Slab and had something to prove to myself.  For this reason, when we finally did pull up beside the toilet block in the car park (the only facility available) I was filled with a determination to redeem myself.

Red Route
Distance: 16Km
Singletrack: 60%


Newcastleton claimed the top seat for “best centre” within the first few minutes and held it to the end.  I could not fault it in terms of flow and character and sang to me more of freeride than trail centre.  The isolation added to the overall effect of the place and I felt enriched by the end of it rather than tired. 

The nameless red route was fast, narrow single track that wound its way along the side of a valley, crossing bridges and boardwalks that led into sharp, but short climbs into the next long ribbon of single track draped out ahead.  Unlike the other trails, which seemed to alter as you progressed from manicured trail to natural and back again, Newcastleton was simply natural in feel from beginning to end.

We had our first and only mechanical here – a puncture that came at the top of a climb and meant we stopped in a beautiful, open glade to make the repair.  Not one of us seemed to mind, as if we had left our cares at the car.  Things were fixed without fuss and we were back on the trail, swooping through the forest like native deer on the move, both fast and graceful, stopping next only when we reached the Stane.



A single black grade feature reared its head towards the end; a raised timber trail line across a pond, but the flow was too delicious to be abandoned for what would likely have been carnage.  We tore past it without debate, plummeting into dark forest before crossing the Tweeden Burn over a stunning arched laminate bridge.

The trail ended a little way from the car park, spitting us out onto green fields and then a short road climb back to where we started.  The Punk IPA made another show and we lingered by the cars whooping and grinning.  What had started out as a horrific day had ended on an utterly true high and six of the Stanes had been ticked off just as we had planned.

Sunday 15th April 2012

Even the 1.5 hour drive to Innerliethen could not deplete my joy from Newcastleton and being so close to the end of the challenge, with a whole day left in which to do just one trail, filled me with self-pride.  When we pulled into the drive of the house booked for us to stay in my good mood only increased.  It was beautifully clean, had everything we could need and most of all there was a bed and central heating rather than a bunk and wood fire.

Once all showered and dressed, which is a long process for six men, five of which who are attempting to drink ale at the same time, we popped out for the short wlak into town to get food.  Now Innerliethen is not what you would refer to as a “tourist destination” and our group seemed to stand out like a sore thumb.  We had not even walked more than ten metres up the high street before an angst filled drunk crossed the road to get in our faces.  He stood toe to toe with Baz and we all waited for the inevitable “kick off”, which would have been a slightly messy affair with six lads against one drunk.  Baz, knowing he was target no.1, took a step back to give room for a clear headbut should the situation seem unavoidable, but this action must have registered with our foe.  He suddenly became aware of the size of the group, maybe even noticed he was being lined up for a nutting and backed off.

With the drunk now returned to his shop doorway where his ragged queen awaited him, junky sores and all, we slipped into a pizza house and ate enough to feed a small army.  From here we moved into the pub, avoiding standing near Paul who had developed the most sinister batch of wind and began drinking with gusto.  The pub also had a healthy array of scotch which led to a game of “Guess the brand” for me, Mark and Baz, resulting in many units and strangely, many a correct guess.

The walk back to home was without the drama of the walk in and a cozy bed was all that was needed to completely polarise how the day had begun.

Glentress: The Meteorite

We were up in good time and packed early.  I had moved Paul’s bags to Dan’s car as I would be travelling home solo after Glentress, but I still took him and his bike with me on the 18 mins drive.  Upon arrival I looked out at the commerciality of this centre in comparison to something like Newcastleton and was stunned.  I could see fields of wooden huts, there was a café, shop and bike shop as well which led to my instance of coffee before beginning and as we were time rich I received no complaints.

The Glentress Red Route
Distance: 18Km
Singletrack: 65%


Whereas Newcastleton was awesome for being entirely natural and flowing, Glentress was awesome for the complete opposite because it was manicured from one end to the other and involved all the climbing up front followed by all the descending in one long session.  The climbing was done in order of ability and we quickly spread out, but once we reached the top, amusing ourselves on route with the odd log feature and balance beam, that order flipped on its head for descending.

I was shocked to see a smattering of snow as we got closer to the top and then enthralled to catch my first ever glimpse of a red squirrel.  All in, despite the manmade feel, Glentress was beautiful to climb.  Beauty, but not flow, stepped aside when it was time to descend.

The most memorable section has to be Spooky Wood, which started out technical and challenging as it whipped in between the trees over rutted and rooted ground long abused by rubber tyres.  I had been second to leave the start behind Baz and was on him all the way down, pitching Crank against his full-sus 29er and not finding Crank wanting.  The trail then came out of the woods and into purpose built drops, jumps and berms, adding to the speed as we battled for space with a dangerous lack of distance between us.    Twelve 180-degree berms, 18 jumps and 17 table tops truly paid for the climbing and that was in that single section, which fired us out with big smiles on our faces, right beside the final Stane.



If Spooky Wood had been the only descent I would have been satisfied, but Glentress was not finished with us yet.  We still had sections named “Super G”, “Hit Squad Hill” and “The Pie Run” to add handfuls of cherries to our cake.  There was also the Matrix, which was a trail of choice, like a rabbit run in how it branched off, rejoined and littered the side of the mountain like the runoff from a waterfall.

Back at the centre we paid to shower and had a quick coffee together, but all knew it was over.  Our parting was sad, but I had an 8.5 hour solo drive home to dwell on all that we had faced and achieved.  So this was not a boozy affair for a stag-do.  It had been an endurance style challenge, filled with the need to bring technical ability, mental strength and a little bit of a strong liver.  We had passed in all aspects.  We had beaten the Seven Stanes.